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Ooh Visitors!! Welcome to my page! I guess you'd like to know more about me...wouldn't you? Well, I honestly HATE 'about me' sections, because my creativity tends to just go oof: and leave me hanging. My creativity is so nice don't ya think? Let's see; I dabble in all sorts of things really. From writing to Crochet, Photomanips and Photography. Outside of artly things, I'm a full blown Radical Daughter of God; But don't worry, I won't be shoving that down your throat. It's not my style. I have a lot of set ideas about major issues facing the world today; Like; Why doesn't the White House sparkle and have glitter parties, and when are they going to invent a Holodeck so I can live out my favorite books. I consider myself a Country Geek...you'll have to ask what that means if you don't know. In Real Life; I suffer from Social anxiety; so I spend a bit of time online in efforts to cope with myself. I'm also now in my first Semester of College!!!!. I hope you enjoy my page and deem to drop by again!
Favorite moviesPride And Prejuduce (The BBC Edition with Colin Firth) Favorite TV showsCriminal Minds, NCIS, CSI, Bones, And Any Star Trek showsFavorite bands / musical artistsI don't really have favorites, but I like most music except for rap and metal.Favorite booksOutside of the bible I read a lot and I can't say I have a favorite, but if I was forced to choose I would say Zoya, by Danelle SteeleFavorite writersAnyone who writes a book worth reading. Favorite games MinecraftFavorite gaming platformNintendo DS, PC, PS3Tools of the TradeGIMP-PSE 8- WORD-Nikon D1500 CameraOther InterestsWriting, Reading, Cooking, Music, Piano
Tired of feeling this way but don’t know how to fix it… the weight of these feelings, steal my energy, zap my strength obliterate my motivation and crush my smile...
It sends me back to the vices I thought I had escaped, only to create
Hello everyone, I feel like I haven't really interacted here in forever. Which is partly true, it was January when I lost journaled. I've been, very lost since I got home from College and was unable to return. It's like I got a taste of what my life could be like and then it was ripped away from me. To say the least, I have not been coping well at all. Along with lack of motivation and an extreme case of insomnia, I stay holed up in my room most days, trying to just...survive. I've completely lost touch with God, and that in itself holds a very large helping of hopelessness for me. Because as those who know me, my life generally revolves around Him and what I want to do for Him. The sad thing is that I know this condemnation I've put on myself, and the guilt I feel so heavily is not from God. It's from myself and of course my forever enemy, satan.
If I'm honest with myself, it's been a very long time since I've felt this lost and crushed by depression. I literally have to remind myself to do the things any normal person should do everyday. Like showering and brushing my teeth, and even eating. I stay up 25-32hrs at time before crashing and then sleep upwards to 17-22 hrs.
I managed with the help of my parents to pay off what was owed on my tuition for the Fall '13 semester when income taxes come in, and I was able to set aside about $200 in savings afterwards. But that's not even going to put a dent in what I need to be able to go back in August, and to be honest I don't want it to be like it was last time, I was barely able to finish the semester. Thankfully, they extended a kindness and grace in my direction, and didn't make me go home before the term ended, though there were some who had to because they hadn't paid any on their bill, other than the initial payment. I'm currently looking for a job so I can at least put something into savings towards it, but so far I haven't had much luck. :/
I've been trying to at least keep up with my crochet, but I've been slacking off in that too lately. most of the time I just sit here and watch endless marathons of tv shows on netflix, or I write with a few friends. The writing helps distract me from this mess of my life.
Also, a friend wanted to come see me during his spring break road trip this past week, and after telling him 'sure' I ended up telling him no, because I was afraid of what might happen once he got here. It was a tough decision to make considering I have rather deep and yet conflicting emotions concerning him. But, as it turns out, when I saw that he'd driven through the upper part of the state I found myself rather upset that I didn't actually get to see him. And I'm sure that's my depression talking and not common sense.
So yeah, that's pretty much all that's going on with me lately. Sorry I've been so...absent. It's just really hard for me to find the motivation.
Going to be spamming you guys with crochet stuff in the next few days as I get the photos and upload them and all that stuff. Show off some of what I've been working on.
Question though, would you guys be interested in seeing my WIP's?
Oh! I forgot. I'm slightly more active on my crochet blog. crochet-bliss.blogspot.com/ if you want to check it out. I try to update it at the very least once a week, not that, that always works out...but I try.
How are you guys doing? Anything new that I've missed lately?